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David Peroutka Is A Giant Faggot

Dear Buttsex (aka ‘David’) Peroutka,

Most game devs consider their free-to-play games to at least partially be advertisement for their other games, but in the case of Robotek you seem to have something going that is about as close to being the opposite of an advertisement as anything a person could imagine. This game seems to be saying, ‘Hey guys, play our games, and we’ll repeatedly fuck you in the ass!’.

Sincerely,

HexRage

For those out there who are do not yet clearly see how rigged this game is, you need to play in multiplayer mode, and not have paid Hexage any money. If you play Robotek like that, and cannot see the rigging… well, all i can say is that you are seriously fucked in the head, and have way more serious issues.

Seriously, Peroutka, you are a giant fuckwad. Please go off yourself.

“Beau Dawg”

If you ever just desire strongly to play a game that makes you say, “Oh my god”, over and over again, Robotek by Hexage is the game for you.

You will be awed by the sheer depth to which a [mobile] game company can and will stoop, just to make a dime. You will be amazed at how Hexage seemingly has NO shame, whatsoever. This is a game in which you may spend 15 – 20 minutes strategizing, nearly defeat your opponent, but just due to the fact that Hexage wants to penalize you for not having forked over some cash, your opponent will do something ridiculous, like rolling 6 or 7 triples in three rounds, steal all of your robots in ONE round, and blow you away.

Maybe it’s just me, but this sort of all-too-common, pathetic scenario never ceases to make my jaw drop. Most game devs would be WAY too ashamed to pull a stunt like this, but not our beloved David Peroutka, and his ‘small studio’ of ass-clowns, otherwise known as ‘Hexage’.

“Beau Dawg” is a player (or bot?) whom I encountered three times a few days ago. Each time, s/he rolled over 10 triples through the course of the game. In one of those games, I rolled one triple. I rolled two in the other two rounds. Almost none of my hacks were effective.

Again, what can account for this?

Hack Failed

If you are a non-paying customer, you have no doubt noticed in Robotek multiplayer that you see this message a LOT. So often, that it soon becomes pretty humorous. Add to that the frequency with which the enemy is able to succeed repeatedly, even with single hacks. To add even more to that humor, you could try reading the so-called strategy guide at hexage.net.

David Peroutka, you are the epitome of what it means to be a dickhead.

Hexage – The Algorithm Of Faggotry And Fail

One thing that stands out about Hexage, is how they have adopted faggotry as the algorithm used in their game mechanics.

Continuing to use multiplayer mode in Robotek as an example, anyone who has played this game much (and has not done any in-app spending) knows that most of one’s losses come from matches in which one had no chance, or nearly no chance. One thing that is consistent, is that your paying opponent’s hacks will often be something like twice as successful as yours. Their robots will frequently power up more quickly than yours. They will most generally roll around twice as many triples as you.

All of this can also be true from time to time for non-paying opponents, but that won’t be nearly as consistent. At the same time, you will also find that off and on you yourself will roll trips out the ass, and hack your opponents bots with ease. But again, take note that this will far more commonly take place when your opponent is not a pay-bitch.

The idea behind all of this faggotry is very, very clearly to get you to give Hexage some cash, or for you to just get used to being taken down a half-dozen notches semi-regularly. It’s your punishment for not paying up.

A few final notes: Watch where your droids shoot. You will notice that your droids, when fighting pay-bitches, will often do things like fire at a ‘heroic tankbot’, despite the fact that your opponent has 2 plain old droids, each with an energy level of 4. Lastly, take note of what happens when you fire lightning bolts (whatever they’re called) at your opponents bots. Especially with pay-bitches, you’ll find that when s/he gets new bots, the bots you immobilized will magically be the same bots that are then replaced. This is often even the case if all three of your opponents bots had been zapped. (Your enemy will also often roll a triple in this situation, too.) Compare this to how often things work out that way for you. 😀

When paired with the simple-minded masses, it’s a great plan.

Don’t believe Hexage’s page of tips for the game, Robotek is rigged.