Hexage – The Algorithm Of Faggotry And Fail

One thing that stands out about Hexage, is how they have adopted faggotry as the algorithm used in their game mechanics.

Continuing to use multiplayer mode in Robotek as an example, anyone who has played this game much (and has not done any in-app spending) knows that most of one’s losses come from matches in which one had no chance, or nearly no chance. One thing that is consistent, is that your paying opponent’s hacks will often be something like twice as successful as yours. Their robots will frequently power up more quickly than yours. They will most generally roll around twice as many triples as you.

All of this can also be true from time to time for non-paying opponents, but that won’t be nearly as consistent. At the same time, you will also find that off and on you yourself will roll trips out the ass, and hack your opponents bots with ease. But again, take note that this will far more commonly take place when your opponent is not a pay-bitch.

The idea behind all of this faggotry is very, very clearly to get you to give Hexage some cash, or for you to just get used to being taken down a half-dozen notches semi-regularly. It’s your punishment for not paying up.

A few final notes: Watch where your droids shoot. You will notice that your droids, when fighting pay-bitches, will often do things like fire at a ‘heroic tankbot’, despite the fact that your opponent has 2 plain old droids, each with an energy level of 4. Lastly, take note of what happens when you fire lightning bolts (whatever they’re called) at your opponents bots. Especially with pay-bitches, you’ll find that when s/he gets new bots, the bots you immobilized will magically be the same bots that are then replaced. This is often even the case if all three of your opponents bots had been zapped. (Your enemy will also often roll a triple in this situation, too.) Compare this to how often things work out that way for you. 😀

When paired with the simple-minded masses, it’s a great plan.

Don’t believe Hexage’s page of tips for the game, Robotek is rigged.


Posted on 8 March 2012, in General and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. OMFG yes this is so true.

    First 3 games into downloading this I won them all because I was being paired up with beginners like me. After that it went all downhill. I started being paired up with faggots that have deflection on shields and tankbots, ridiculously high critical strikes with the floorbot, the skybot shooting not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 BUT SEVERAL damn fucking shots in a row with like 1800+ wins and whenever I NEED a triple roll and I have no bots from being destroyed all too often, low HP, and then I get screwed over with a fucking level 2 bot and some dinky ass level 1 bot.

    And to add to that, I frequently get triple rolls for hacking an enemy droid but what a fucking surprise when all of them say “Hack Failed” on the weakest fucking enemy too when it should be going after the Heroic Bots or Elite Bots. A TRIPLE ROLL for me consistently fails!!!
    But when those fucking assholes use that shit on me, getting only ONE ROLL and sometimes two for the hack and it magically takes my goddamn Heroic Bot when I finally get that shit out, pretty much sealing the fate of the game.

    Earlier today I played 4 games in a row, each beginning with the same result. The enemy player gets a triple roll at the start of the match, not once, but 3 fucking times!!!!!!!!!! All four games in a row the same thing happened. Not all of them were 3 triple rolls but they each got at least 2 triple rolls, thus fucking me in the ass when the shit just started.

    I really enjoy this game when it’s a good, prolonged battle. But the bullshit when crap like that happens in a frequent manner, it just makes me think how terribly lucky or fucking rigged this game is.

    I’ve currently only won 11 matches out of 50.

    One thing that bothers me when I play is I noticed that when I’m fighting another player, their aerial bots shoot SO MANY TIMES!! UGH!! And my aerial bot only shoots 3-4 times (despite having put 3 coins in that slot). And they happen to target my weakest bots all the damn time.

    I’m taking a break from this game for fucks sake.

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